Hi Mummy’s readers!
I have had enough of Mummy’s updates as she is not telling the truth! No one knows how bad my life really is so I am writing this on behalf of all babies so that they can empathise with me and so that other parents might listen to our complaints unlike mine.
There I am blissfully asleep dreaming about my favourite thing milk guzzling when I wake up, now Where is my food?? Where is my food?? Where is my food? You would think with how darn cute I am that there isn’t some kind of night watch going off but no I am made to wait!
I don’t like waiting so I am forced I tell you, forced, to step up the anti and politely ask again (this is where Mummy and Daddy grimace and tell me to shush and that is going to be ok) No it’s not ok! How am I ok? I am hungry I need my food! Hello!
Apparently this happens in the space of thirty seconds oops! Must have got really hungry with all that sleeping.
Then after I have been fed and all relaxed what do my parents do? Throw me over their shoulder (I don’t mind this part it reminds me of the womb, nice warm place that it was. I don’t know why I have been moved!) and proceed to pat me till I burp. I hate burping, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. No matter what they do I refuse to burp. Mummy and Daddy are quite persistent, though the times they have stopped I decide I will reward their good behaviour by sharing my dinner with them it’s the least I could do right?
Well then a whole new horror begins. I have just shared a really nice present that I could have kept to myself and rather than leaving me alone they take my clothes off! When will this torture ever end because I know what’s coming next … the nappy change. The most dreaded part of my day that keeps reoccurring.
Why do they do it? Why? I am fine as I am, but no they continue ignoring me telling them not to do it, I shout as loud as I can not to do it when that cold air hits me, but they still carry on. I am forced at this point to bring out the big guns and propel them with pee that usually gets them stepping back at least for a second! I have got a pretty good aim and have hit Daddy numerous times. I have decided though to be careful around Mummy she gives me food and I don’t want to upset her. After all I always share my food over Mummy.
This is the usual routine of the day, unless Mummy takes me outside and I am coerced into that car seat its very cosy in there which I like and I can have a good nap without being harassed however I don’t like being put in there! The parentals still haven’t got the message, I don’t know why they are so slow to learn.
When we are out I try to show them what I like, I mean other people who see me and comment how cute and adorable I am (which is true, I don’t know why they don’t say it a little louder) they don’t change my clothes, give me nappy changes or burp me and I am as good as gold with them! Why don’t Mummy and Daddy pick up on this I will never know?
Anyway have got to go now, it’s hard work being so adorable i need to catch up on my beauty sleep! Leave me some comments I will make Mummy and Daddy read them to me.